It Was All Because of the Bear
It Was All Because of the Bear is a multi-channel video installation that examines the suppression of memory and the visceral struggle to confront trauma. The installation features 11 stacked CRT-TVs, each playing a looped video of a handmade, white teddy bear subjected to various acts of destruction—burial, burning, and more. The TVs are topped with VHS tapes from 1990s shows and movies featuring bears, but every mention or depiction of bears has been violently scribbled out, symbolizing an attempt to erase or reject the haunting imagery tied to my childhood abuse.
The installation’s auditory backdrop is a raw recording from an exposure therapy session in which I struggled to articulate my trauma for the first time. The sound is heavy with breaths and sobs, capturing the unbearable weight of confronting suppressed memories. This juxtaposition between silence and destruction speaks to the impossibility of completely erasing pain while illustrating the mechanisms we employ to cope.
At the heart of this work is the white bear—a vivid, recurring image that became both a symbol of the abuse I endured and a target for my need to forget. It Was All Because of the Bear invites viewers into the fragmented, fraught process of reconciling with trauma, illustrating how memory refuses to stay buried and the ways symbols of the past can linger, demanding attention, destruction, or transformation.
